Monday, September 7, 2009

Happy Labor Day...Pass the Instructions.

Labor Day weekend with my boy and the family...It doesn't get any better than this. The weekend started great with good news from the doctors on Friday afternoon. It appears that both my bone scan and my CT scan came back clean. So, no more cancer in my body from what we can see. That's what we expected, but it's still good to hear. So, now the only thing left to battle is the microscopic variety, if it's even in there. 18 more days until we begin... I'm having quite the battle with the anxiety over the beginning of chemo. It's like watching a horror movie when you just KNOW that they shouldn't go in there but they do anyway, or a movie where some chick is running, then drops her keys and falls down while being chased. Yeah. It feels like that.

I know the answer is to turn it over to God. And, I do! But, I also just seem to keep taking it back. It's like eating off someone else's plate. I turn it over to Him (putting it on HIS plate), then take it back, bite by bite until I look up and it's all on my plate again. Start over...turn it over. Repeat. It's maddening. The incurable human condition is always there to remind me of how short I fall. But, I guess that's true of all of us.

So getting my mind off of that, I decided to clean out a couple shelves in the TV cabinet in my room this weekend. Jackpot! I found 2 gift certificates I got several years ago at Christmas. I was just sure that they wouldn't be good anymore, but called and they were! So today Mom and I went off to Toys R Us with Brayden to buy a new Hot Wheels track. In case you don't know...Hot Wheels rule your life with a 5 year old boy. They are legal tender in our house. Chores buy Hot Wheels...bad behavior loses Hot Wheels...There is no leverage like Hot Wheel leverage at 5. Since we're up to more than 220-240 at this point I keep thinking that we'll eventually get them all, and I will run out of the motivational supply. Never happens. They just keep making more. Unbelievable, really. The crazy part is he remembers every one. He can look at them and tell you instantaneously if he's got that one. I have no idea how he does this.

So since we had $25 of free Hot Wheels money and he had not complained a bit when I got rid of 75% of the toys in the game room on Saturday, we headed off to add a new track to his collection. The coolest one there was the Drop Force track. It has all kinds of twists in it, the battery operated booster-thing, and a switch that allows you to run multiple cars on it and make them crash into each other. Cool, right? Of course! So, all the way home the anticipation was building. He couldn't wait to get back to Nana's and play with it. Great. To tell the truth, I was pretty excited about it, too. Then we dumped it out of the box...

Now I am not stupid, but an engineer I am not. And I would challenge anyone to put the thing together in less time. The pictures were not clear, and it was hard to recognize the pieces because most of them had an unusual shape, all 92 of them. This thing had more parts than any track he's ever had and because the configuration is so unusual...let's just say the next 90 minutes weren't pretty. I'll admit, there was some yelling, some time outs, some frustration...When we completed every step of the "instructions", there were still 5 pieces left. Fortunately, the picture on the front answered the question of where those went. Two D batteries later, and the thing has been running almost since the last piece was snapped into place. All of the frustration was worth it once the assembly was complete, and he got the chance to see it in action. It was a great day.

So sitting here now thinking about the chemo and everything else ahead of me, I can't help but compare it to assembling that track. The difference here is that I don't have all of the pieces or the "instructions". There's not a picture on the box to show me the end result. Instead, I have a promise that has to be accepted on faith alone. The Bible tells us that, "All thing work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called to His purpose." That's my promise. So, I don't know how all of this is going to go, what's ahead of me, or where I'll end up. But I do know this, as long as I am called to His purpose (By the way, That part's important...), all of this is going to work together for good. And the best part is, I don't have to snap all of the pieces in place. I just have to keep my focus on Him, and He's going to do that for me. How cool is that?


kitykity said...

All of this is going to work together for good. For me, that's the quote of the day. And kudos to you for figuring out where the last few pieces fit in--figuratively, in life, some people never figure that out ;)

Unknown said...

I am so thankful that your tests are good! prayers are still going up! and He has promised to answer them! I know nasty lesson for us to learn... do we ever? LIG Let It Go. I can't get it right either, but I will not give up!
Been touched by God, and He allowed me to be blessed by you!


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